I have been thinking for a while about the emotion jealousy. It is an emotion that for me has always raised questions and a sort of morbid/sadistic (delete depending on which is correct) intrest. Jealousy is a strange thing, it changes the normally sain and trustworthy people in to raging paranoid monsters. What is it about human nature that makes this emotion so powerful? Let me explain how I think it works...
The key to any form of relationship platonic or not is trust and no matter how strong the bond of trust in any relationship jealousy can still rear his wicked little head. A classic example that the majority of people, if not all of you can probably relate to would be that of my years in primary school, my best friend at this time was a girl called Natasha and from reception till year 4 we were sole friends, nothing could seperate me and natasha - after all we were friends because we had the same birthday - what bond could be stronger?! However in the middle of year 4 enter Samantha!! Samantha was very pretty with long blonde hair (Natasha and I had often complained of our dull short brown hair!) and blue eyes - an angel on the outside, not so angellic inside! Samantha, Natasha and I survived happily as a threesome for approximatly 2 weeks untill one morning (a night is all it takes in primary school!) I was left alone at my double desk as Sam and Nat had decided that 3 was indeed a crowd! That was the first experiance I ever remember of the green eyed monster!
Since then he has reared his head in many a disguise on many occasions: a pair of jeans my friend had new that I had been admiring with her the day before. A boy who broke my heart seen the next week arms around my best friend. A love I couldn't have with the person who did have them. Your best mate standing you up to be with a girl he's known a week. Whatever the reason jealousy and I have become close aquantances since that awful day in year4. This also means that my ability to rationalise and cope with this emotion has developed too, and I would no longet call myself a jealous person. Jealousy in any relationship, I believe, comes ultimatly down to trust and know matter how much trust is in a relationship it is still possible to be jealous. And this is because Jealousy ulitmatly occures due to one thing, a thing that has had men go to war, a thing that has been the muse to the most amazing poetry and music on our little planet. This one thing is simply an emotion known as Love. Love in all its many wonderful and varied forms can cause jealousy. I'm not talking here about the kind of jealousy that makes you want a pair of shoes on a person in the street (that I call envy) I'm thinking of the kind of jealousy that comes between friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, brothers, sisters. The feeling that that person "belongs" to you in one way or another and the feeling of loss, anger, pain, hurt - whatever that you get when you realise they too have or you dread that they will let you down, desert you, not love you. As humans the best thing we can feel is love. It is the best gift we can give and even better to recieve it but the pain it can also cause can be incredible. Now you may think me odd for saying this but everytime I get jealous now (on whatever level, be it basic and fleeting or extreme paranoia) after the initial thoughts of hurt/pain/anger I am greatful for the feeling, because it shows that I can feel love (whatever kind) and that is something to be greatful for don't you think? Next time you get jealous examine your reasons - does love enter the situation? If so be happy! breath and let it go! (easier said than done I know but it helps sort of!) chances are your love is reciprocated in some way and that, as I said, is even better!
I would never presume to be an expert on this as its different for everyone and such a complex emotion but this was just my mind rambling what I've been pondering the last month or so! Hope it makes you think!let me know your thoughts... :D
xxx
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2 comments:
Hey ffi! How are you?! Did you have a good Christmas? recovering nicely lol! Amazing blog by the way, very thought provoking! I do agree that quite a lot of jealousy stems from love, I also think it is a basic fact of human nature that we simply cannot help purselves but desire what other people have, in many cases we simply see that our friends or wahtever are enjoying something we don't have and we want that for ourselves! it's like a grass is greener on the other side sort of thing like keeping up with the jones' they seem to have it better so we desire to have what they have, i think in many cases it's as simple as that! Jealousy is something I've had to deal with a lot surprisingly recently too but i've kind of got rid of it without thinking too much about it if that's possible?! anywho, great blog ffi! see you soon love Nic xxx
This is so well written Ffi, and not something anyone else has ever written a blog on before I don't think.
Very interesting.
Hope you've had a good holiday so far.
Lots of the love
Kit
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